Jeff is 31, and a bit overzealous. Heâ€™s charismatic, attractive, generous and knows it. For a while, I was digging him. Then, he began to educate me on an unknown aspect of dating â€“ the power alley. The power alley, as Jeff explained, was the prime age that he and his friends found women to be â€œdatable.â€ And guess where Jeff and his buddiesâ€™ power alley was set? 23-29. This is, according to Jeff, the age range that women have the least amount of baggage and drama. I was so appalled by this blatant form of ageism; I proceeded to drink far too much red wine (it was Malbec – can you blame me?) and sent my most evil glares Jeffâ€™s way.
But, itâ€™s not really Jeffâ€™s fault.
The next morning, after downing ibuprofen and a gallon of water, I began reflecting on Jeffâ€™s theory. Was there really a perfect age range to meet our best match? I had, for years, dated older men; attracted by their confidence and maturity. Oh, and the fact that most of them donâ€™t play video games. But, over the last year and a half as I wrote this column, I frequently dated men in their late 20â€™s and early 30â€™s.
Jeffâ€™s dating concept inspired me to develop it further. Perhaps all of us have our own individual power alley, set to specifically match what suits us. Maybe I wasnâ€™t meeting my â€œoneâ€ because I was dating in the wrong alley! We could be on to something hereâ€¦ While Jeff found that women in their 20â€™s had â€œless dramaâ€ because they didnâ€™t usually have an ex-husband and/or children, I found men in their 20â€™s to be self-absorbed, knowing little about love. Power alleyâ€™s, were not as Jeff asserted, created equally.
From this, I began identifying my own power alley, which allowed me to quit dating the 33-year-old city hippie, who consistently lectured me on the necessity of organic products, but who had neither a job nor a stable living situation. I cut off communication with the 28-year-old who thought that love meant meeting all of his needs while he continually looked at himself in the mirror.
Then, it happened.
In my hometown of Tillamook, Ore., I met the man who was a perfect fit for my power alley. He is 43, holds a masterâ€™s degree, is attractive, active, and absolutely adores me. I said a silent â€œthank youâ€ to Jeff as I realized that his power alley theory had paid off. Getting clear about my perfect match – older, more mature and alive to deeper aspects of life- made it possible for me to attract him into my world.
And because Iâ€™ve now found my match (didnâ€™t I set my New Yearâ€™s intention to meet â€œthe one?!â€), I will no longer be writing this column.
My exploits in dating on the Oregon Coast have led me to meet a man from the coast (!) who has changed my notion of dating altogether. It has been a wild ride; full of ups and downs and continual learning. Thank you for your feedback, for reading this column and for caring about connection as much as I do.
Please stay in touch; you can reach me via my website at: www.heatherstrang.com. Date on!